Dating in Early Recovery

Dating in Early Recovery

Recovery from addiction is not about stopping use.  Stopping use is a step toward recovery.  Creating a new life and letting go of “old ideas” is required to stop the cycle of addiction.  This takes time.  Healthy relationships require honesty with self and others.  Walking through the 12-steps, brings our true selves into better understanding.  The best gift you can give to yourself and a relationship is focus on recovery of mind, body and spirit before sharing that with a new partner. 

Reasons to wait:

  • Infatuation or getting involved quickly in a relationship can become an addiction replacement, a search for the dopamine and norepinephrine rush previously sought out through drugs or alcohol
  • Love and sex can become the new addiction
  • The new excitement is entered into with our “old ideas” and can mask the underlying issues that still need to be addressed to live a healthier, recovered life
  • The relationship can distract from the work of early recovery and rediscovering core values and beliefs
  • Without the foundation of recovery, the foundation of the relationship is on unsteady ground
  • If the addict has not connected to a “higher power” through the 12-Steps, the new relationship can easily become the “higher power”.  If something happens to the relationship, the person can feel like they have lost everything.
  • Without becoming comfortable with self which recovery work brings, nervous feelings of dating and intimacy can lead to a desire to use unhealthy coping mechanisms, i.e. triggering alcohol or drug use to relax
  • Without a strong foundation in recovery, the inevitable challenges that arise in relationships can contribute to a relapse

Our program

Higher Plane Recovery gives men in recovery the tools they need. We work on continuance of their spiritual growth, moving to achievement of long-term sobriety. We believe strongly in also maintaining the integrity of our community. Therefore, we build a solid foundation of camaraderie, provide structure in our daily schedules and demand accountability amongst each other. Furthermore, we act with integrity in all our affairs, willing to go the extra mile for one another. Our foundation is the 12- steps and the guiding principles of that program. This allows us the opportunity to envision living freely outside the cycle of addiction.

For more information on Higher Plane Recovery, visit